Christmas is about red, green and cheers. Christmas trees, ornaments, Santa, snow, parties, boxed presents, Christmas sales, giving, and the time to act like kids in the snow without getting a weird look from onlookers. Lest I forgot the noisy cousins who are human-clappers that never miss the yearly parties. It’s unique in its entirety. The right time for everyone to get their freak on— it’s Christmas, anyone can spear you the sermon.
Once again, in the coming days, Christmas will be here, and everyone can’t wait for the holiday cheers and beers. Seeing varieties of Santa in convertibles and saloon cars now, you’d wonder what happened to open sleighs you read in storybooks, how you hardly see Santa in one. It’s baffling — kids’ stuff.
These days, some people want more out of Christmas. They are tired of the usual things. No, not the Christmas deals on Amazon. Entirely different from what we’ve seen. They aren’t bothered about fancy colorful lights and decorating trees with fairy lights. They desire more juice and disruptions all through the holidays.
There a few among us are on another level at Christmas—the crazy ones— they are living the imagination. When you think you’ve seen it all, they reinvigorate with new bewildering ideas yearly.
Those ideas aren’t replicating Stonehenge or creating Iron Man out of snows—they are seasonal presents or gadgets by yahoos for people going, bozo. Crazy stuff you would say. Ever imagine there would be beard light? Yes, beard light, Christmas trees could be phased out soon. It’s all crazy.
Not quite sure you’ve had crazy ideas in Christmas like the folks below and if you do—find your place among the wackos!
CRAP STICKY NOTE:
Just as the name implies, it’s all about the craps. And how crappy anyone could get in Christmas. On the note, you can rate how crappy things went from boring crap, useless crap, more crap, and total crap. You’re free to write down how crappy things went this Christmas for the next. It’s available on offthewagonshop.com, and It’s all for craps!
The famous adage which says: if you can think it, we can build it seems real. In Christmas a few would love to save money on gas and us the 49cc “beermobil,” You can move around with your wines and beers for the dudes down the road. Not sure if the inventors think of adding any safety features. It’s for the craziest I think, do visit the showroom on Amazon.
Recall I mentioned beard light in the earlier paragraph? Well, you’re alive to witness this one. FireBox sells it for a few bucks, and it’s wild. Rather than look for Christmas tree, you light up your beards with 18 multi-colored Nano led lights. The festive fairy light lights the face and beards for God knows mood. The downside here’s not getting your beards wet with liquid since electricity and moisture never mix.
CREATIVE CURSING PROFANITY GENERATOR:
This Christmas, if you ever get tired of using the F-word and wish to equate the cursing with your anger, here’s the fix. Someone was thoughtful enough that we needed to be more creative while cursing. Never run out of stringing together the perfect curse phrase. The creative (sounds like sarcasm to me) cursing profanity generator helps with a curse for every occasion. It has two separate pages side-by-side which you can flip for a combination of vulgar phrases. Hope crazy folks never run out of words this Christmas. Be creative, flip and curse!
REMOTE CONTROL FLYING FISH:
Don’t lose your grip yet. You’ve been briefed it all craziness at Christmas. We’ve seen flying cars, drones and planes but who would have considered creating flying fish for Christmas. This Remote Control Flying Fish was designed to fly and not swim in the aquarium. It’s crazy but real. Although, it looks baggy and happy for a fish, but it’s better than kiwis that never dared.
ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDE:
Some people believe Santa does exist and others think zombies are real too. It’s all squared. Picture facing the devil, and all you’ve got is a survival guide to kill/disarm a zombie. This is crazy than expected because it’s hard to proof zombies does exist and all you need to survive a zombie attack is a survival guide. Should there be an impending apocalypse on Christmas, you’ve got the survival book to save you. All the tricks and tips are in there at any dangerous time.
VLADIMIR POOTIN LAVATORY MIST:
Still wondering why someone is putting this up sale in Christmas. Don’t know if it’s my head, but the name rings a bell.
EMERGENCY REPLACEMENT SOCK:
How anyone would lose a sock on their feet still looks inexplicable to the writer talkless having an emergency replacement for a leg. Why a leg and not the duo since both be replaced easily for whichever reason? I’m still in awe. It’s one hell of a crazy idea.
INSTANT AUDIENCE BUTTON:
This Christmas is saturated with ideas, and they are all crazier than we thought. This Christmas, don’t give a hoot about anyone that have never applauded your jokes or karaoke performance because you’ve got your loyal fans in a device. All that’s’ needed are buttons on a dreadful device. You can applause yourself or boo anyone without others support. Press the button, and you can make rim shot, or cricket sounds wherever whenever. It’s Christmas—cheers, and boos are always welcome. However, automated applause from a device sounds creepy to me.
When you think you’ve seen it all, another crazy idea blows you off your feet with a new level of craziness. Why would someone create a WTF Note for anyone in Christmas? WTF!
This note might be left blank till New Year. If I recall vividly, most Oh Shit moments never end well. It’s either someone broke her nose and almost got killed in a senseless prank. The pain suffered could overshadow the memory; Oh Shit could become Oh No, and that’s the end.
Its unending crazy ideas every Christmas.
Image Copyright: amazon.com